February 12, 2011

The end is nigh...

The end of my pregnancy, that is. I have a little over two weeks until I'm classed as "term" and a little over five weeks until my due date. That magical "term" will be reached on Ianto's birthday, and I have no doubt that I'll be giving birth before my due date. I'm still thinking the 17th of March. The guessing's still open at Expectnet, so click the button on the right and have a guess yourself!

As for what we're doing for Ianto's birthday...I really don't know. I'd like to do something to "celebrate" but I can't think of anything. We'll definitely be going to the cemetery and visiting him, but that's as far as I get. Scott's working that morning, I'll have a hospital appointment that day... I just wish more "real life"people cared enough to warrant a party of some sort. Well, not a party, I suppose, but something. If you're another "babyloss" parent, let me know in the comments what you did for your baby's first birthday, or what you're planning to do. I think, since Cookie will be born close(ish) to Ianto's birthday, we'll have a special little cake or something at every birthday party. But this one, I'm stumped.

I got quite a bit of support for posting those belly photos last week. I've been so ashamed of my belly through this whole pregnancy - I'm a bit of a chubba to begin with, so I didn't think my belly was "pretty" or "neat" enough. Then it snapped. My belly is beautiful. No, it's not the "normal" shape of a pregnant belly - it's flat at the front, and almost disappears when I lay on my back - but it's grown two babies now. My front is covered in stretch marks. I don't care anymore. They really are my Mummy Badges.

On a different note, this blog will need a makeover of some sort once Cookie's born. I'm eternally grateful to Sarah for designing it last year - I've tinkered with it a lot, mostly out of boredom, but it's still essentially the same. I think I'll have a crack at doing it myself... Even if I fail, I have the default designs to fall back on.


  1. A friend of mine lost her baby during labour at 42 weeks about 18 months ago. For Abigail's first birthday they had a pink party, a proper first birthday party with decorations & cake & presents for a one year old. A lot of the presents were donated but some special ones were kept. They also released a whole bunch of pink balloons as well as a number 1 balloon. It was in the UK so I only saw photos on FB but it looked lovely & so happy.

  2. Oh gosh, I am SO sorry I didn't read this before Ianto's first birthday. We had a picnic at the park where we held Ellanor's memorial the year before. It was a beautiful peaceful place. In the years since, I have baked a cake or cupcakes (now we do that with our second daughter) but only when I feel up to it - this year, we just spent the day as a family and went out to a park somewhere that we reckon a 7 yo would have had a blast of a time.

    I guess I'm saying, it changes. And don't ever think that you have to "top" what you did the previous year, or that if you do something big one year, you have to keep that up. What you do to be close to the memory of your son will change and grow with you all as a family. Tough day to get through. xox


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