September 23, 2010

An unexpected reaction

Most readers of this blog would already know that I'm (mostly) alright with looking at/holding/cooing over other babies. Somehow I'm happier holding someone else's baby than anything else in the world (except, obviously, thinking of holding my own soon) so this morning I got a massive surprise.

A little backstory before I go into this. R is my cousin's cousin, or something along those lines. If I remember correctly, her mum used to be one of my mum's closest friends (but I could be wrong - I don't know them very well.) I hadn't seen R in years before February. I found out R was pregnant while waiting for my 30 week check-up while pregnant with Ianto. Yes, I said 30 weeks. I was 30 weeks and six days pregnant with Ianto, making the date the 18th of February. Not long after, R adds me as a friend on facebook. I'm perfectly fine with all her little updates about her baby. I even said last week that she must be ready to pop by now, to which she replied that she was going in for a caesarean this week.

So today rolls along. R has her caesarean this morning, and promptly posts a picture of her new little man. I comment "he's so gorgeous" or something along those lines... then realise it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. It took me all of five seconds to work out why. I am upset. R has her baby - her second, I think - and I'm still waiting for one I can hold. How unexpected.


  1. sending love your way...I hope you arms can be full one sure have every reason to feel upset...thanks for sharing your tender feelings. naomi xx


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