August 09, 2010

A little sad, missing him.

Yesterday was strange. I wasn't sad exactly, but I felt myself really missing Ianto. I wanted him there, to share everything that was going on. There wasn't even anything going on, really, I just wanted him.

Did you know there's a 3% chance of a subsequent pregnancy ending in another stillbirth? That's opposed to the usual 0.7% risk. I was looking up these kinds of statistics because I want to be well-informed if I have to fight to birth where I want to birth next time.

Fingers crossed I can turn this into a "pregnancy after stillbirth" blog very soon. I think another baby might help my heart heal a little

EDIT: I forgot to mention, Ianto's story was featured last month on a blog called "Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope" if you want to read more sad stories. Here's the link to Ianto's.


  1. You'll probably have those times forever. Times when you just wish so badly he was there. I still do, sometimes. I used to write letters to him, when I felt like that.

    But I've got to a place where mostly, I can look back and feel blessed that he came into my life, and changed me forever. It took me a few years to get there, though.

    ((Hugs to you.))

  2. *big hugs* He'll always be watching you from above, but it's just not the same is it :(

  3. I get this feeling, a feeling like you are pregnant. Call me crazy, I may well have babies on the brain.

    And as katiegirl said... hugs to you.


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