August 09, 2010

A little sad, missing him.

Yesterday was strange. I wasn't sad exactly, but I felt myself really missing Ianto. I wanted him there, to share everything that was going on. There wasn't even anything going on, really, I just wanted him.

Did you know there's a 3% chance of a subsequent pregnancy ending in another stillbirth? That's opposed to the usual 0.7% risk. I was looking up these kinds of statistics because I want to be well-informed if I have to fight to birth where I want to birth next time.

Fingers crossed I can turn this into a "pregnancy after stillbirth" blog very soon. I think another baby might help my heart heal a little

EDIT: I forgot to mention, Ianto's story was featured last month on a blog called "Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope" if you want to read more sad stories. Here's the link to Ianto's.


3 comments:

  1. You'll probably have those times forever. Times when you just wish so badly he was there. I still do, sometimes. I used to write letters to him, when I felt like that.

    But I've got to a place where mostly, I can look back and feel blessed that he came into my life, and changed me forever. It took me a few years to get there, though.

    ((Hugs to you.))

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  2. *big hugs* He'll always be watching you from above, but it's just not the same is it :(

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  3. I get this feeling, a feeling like you are pregnant. Call me crazy, I may well have babies on the brain.

    And as katiegirl said... hugs to you.

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