June 17, 2010

The thing about ultrasounds...

...is that you have to wait for the doctor to give you your results. Yes, stupid me went into my ultrasound today thinking that they would be telling me if there's something wrong. I neglected to remember that I'd be getting my results next week at my obstetrician appointment. Oops. I'll just have to go off my "expert" opinion of what I saw...

To begin with, the radiologist (let's call him Steve) ultrasounded my tummy. This was fun, though I didn't look at the screen much. I noticed he was looking at my uterus, and I didn't want to see it empty so I looked away. Then stupidly made a comment to Scott about it looking weird, since I'm used to seeing a baby in there. Steve looked up and said "Oh, how many kids have you got?" I stumbled over my words a little, gestured to Scott (who was holding my teddy with Ianto's name on it*) and said something along the lines of "Oh, just the.. you know..." Steve was nice about it and filled in the rest - "...the one?" "yeah."

After that came what is colloquially known as "dildo-cam." It really wasn't that bad, just a thin little thing with a condom on the end (which I found amusing) that went in a few inches** and was more uncomfortable than painful. Steve checked out my right ovary, which to me looked okay. Well, except for the little dark spots I saw everywhere. Of course, I convinced myself that they were cysts. Then came the left ovary.

Oh boy. My left ovary was apparently hiding because Steve couldn't find it for a few minutes and had to push the probe in a little further. Ohhh now that was uncomfortable! Eventually he found it, measurements were taken, and by the looks of it, Leftie is massively smaller than Rightie. Oh dear.

As Steve was trying to find Leftie, he took a while to look at my cervix too. He looked at it for quite a while. I think he saw something wrong, because he started frowning and asking how old "the baby" was. "Um... He'd be about 3 months..." Steve frowned again. Typed a couple of letters - CX (cervix), then TR (um, what?)... And continued looking. I'm a little scared now. TR... what could that mean? Tear? Have I torn my cervix somehow?

Anyway, Steve was quite nice, finished up quickly, and we left soon after. Into the torrential rain. I stuck teddy down the front of my dress (which made it look like I had a baby down there) and we bolted for the car, me shivering my substantial bottom off.

Aaaand... That's it... I can never work out how to end my posts...

*Yes, I took the teddy bear. I needed the comfort since I knew we'd be waiting in the same waiting room I sat in for half an hour, by myself, after the ultrasound where it was confirmed Ianto had died.

**Geez, when I started this blog, this is not the kind of thing I thought I would ever be writing about!


  1. Tenielle, i totally relate to that fear, It's tough. i admire your strength for going back to the same clinic. I can't even drive past ours. Even going for any ultrasound is tough for me and struggle terribly through them.

  2. Tenielle, just wanted to say you are such a strong person & I love reading this blog, you are an awesome writer :-)
    I know that in ultrasounds, TR can mean transverse (ie lying sideways/crossways) I wish you luck with your results & your future xx


Thank you for reading!