- What if Ianto's heart was just beating really slow and they just weren't looking for long enough to see it? Mums are built to regulate their babies' bodies, and I know my heartbeat can be quite slow at times, maybe his was the same?
- What if he was alive when he was born and just wasn't breathing, but because no-one checked, he died?
- What if, rather than dying inside me, he died in my arms and I didn't even know?
- What if by placing him under my shirt rather than on top, he could have been saved?
March 12, 2010
I keep having horrible thoughts, a lot of "what ifs" running through my mind about Ianto's death. I'll get some of them out here. They pretty much all run into each other. I guess I read too many "miracle stories" about babies being brought back to life, or not being dead when they were assumed to be...